Why Do We Care What Other People Think of Us?

Have you ever spent time ruminating over your words and actions after spending time with other people? Or stopped yourself from speaking up, trying something new or being fully yourself because you were worried about how others might judge you? Well you're not alone, and there’s a good psychological reason for it.

In our latest video, which you can find here, George talks about why we worry so much about other people's opinions, the problems with people-pleasing, and what exactly we can do about it.

Caring about others’ opinions is deeply human. For most of our evolutionary history, being accepted by a group was essential for survival. As a result, our brains became highly sensitive to social approval and rejection. But we often overestimate how much people notice or judge us. This is known in psychology as the spotlight effect: we feel like we’re constantly being watched, when in reality, most people are too busy thinking about themselves.

While caring about what others think can help us cooperate and build relationships, it can also hold us back, making us less authentic, more anxious and more likely to live according to others’ expectations instead of our own values.

Practical Tips to Care Less About Others’ Opinions

1. Challenge the spotlight effect

Ask yourself: “What evidence do I have that people are actually judging me?” Research shows most people barely remember others’ small mistakes or awkward moments.

2. Shift from external approval to internal values

Psychologists recommend grounding decisions in your personal values, not others’ reactions. When you act in line with what matters to you, opinions lose their power.

3. Reframe negative judgments

If someone does judge you, it often says more about their beliefs, fears, or experiences than about you. Cognitive reframing can reduce the emotional impact.

4. Practice self-compassion

Studies show that people with higher self-compassion are less affected by criticism. Treat yourself with the same understanding you’d offer a close friend.

5. Gradual exposure to discomfort

Do small things that feel slightly uncomfortable, like sharing an opinion, wearing what you like or saying no. Over time, your brain learns that social disapproval is rarely dangerous.

Caring what others think isn’t a flaw, it’s part of being human. But when it starts controlling your choices or impacting your wellbeing, it’s worth questioning. Freedom and confidence grow when we stop letting imagined judgments dictate how we live.